Take a break from the
drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across
the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care
to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn
of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page
to the e-mail link above.
Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3
of Melanie's old (and getting older...) college friends posted this list on Facebook. There is evidently no end
to the amount of cleverness out there. Enjoy.
- I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Math professors are sum worshipers.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- I put my root beer in a square cup. Now it's just beer.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
- They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.
- PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
* √☺ = ☺
- We're going on a class trip to the Coca Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery.
- What do organic mathematicians throw in their fireplaces? Natural logs.
- How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
- About all I know about algebra is that 1 + 1 = 2. [that's not algebra]
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
- What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- Well, another day has passed. I haven't used algebra once.
- Math is 3 difficult 4 me.
- I have always given 100% at work: 15% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 12% on Thursday, and
10% on Friday.
- Some magnetics engineers are reluctant to cosine a loan.
- I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.
- Never drink and derive.
Posted January 29, 2015