Rules of the College Chemistry Lab

Engineering & Science Humor - RF CafeThese engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

  • When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
  • Experiments must be reproducible, they should fail the same way each time.
  • First draw your curves, then plot your data.
  • Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
  • A record of data is essential, it shows you were working.
  • To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
  • To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.
  • If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.
  • If that doesn't work, start at both ends and try to find a common middle.
  • In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
  • Do not believe in miracles...rely on them.
  • Team work is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
  • All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.
  • Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it. (Law of Spontaneous Fission)

         ...from the Engineering Humor web site.