The Importance of Correct Punctuation

These engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

Engineers are notorious for, to put it kindly, "creative" grammar. Misspellings, improper capitalization (or no capitalization), misplaced commas, semicolons and quotation marks, using adjectives where adverbs belong, etc. As with the examples of sentences you see where all the vowels are removed and you can still comprehend the meaning, most texts written by engineers are understandable in spite of the grammatical atrocities that have been committed. Well, here is one brilliant example of where punctuation completely alters the meaning of the paragraph.

The words in the two paragraphs are exactly the same; only the punctuation and capitalization has been changed.

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours, Gloria

--- Anon