These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the
children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will
lead you to the Promised Land." Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your
shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a
Camel, this
is the Promised Land." Today, the Government has stolen your shovel, taxed your
asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed
last night thinking about Health Care, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings,
Social Security, retirement funds... that I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press
1 for English. I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I
was suicidal. They got excited and asked, "Can
you drive a truck?"
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the
children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will
lead you to the Promised Land." Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your
shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a
Camel, this
is the Promised Land." Today, the Government has stolen your shovel, taxed your
asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed
last night thinking about Health Care, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings,
Social Security, retirement funds... that I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press
1 for English. I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I
was suicidal. They got excited and asked, "Can
you drive a truck?"